super inconsistent twenty ten.

this year so far has brought me feelings so vast that i find it hard to believe that i am actually this unstable. lol. perhaps, this diagram can give you a lil idea on the emotional toll i took throughout 2010.

scary?
and it's not because of pms!

my summary:

Jan

had a great new year's dinner with family. excited bout theater. worked my ass off for it. conflict. got pissed at some people.

Feb

rehearsal. rehearsal. rehearsal. had fun preparing food for the theater. theatre was a success. early valentine’s celebration. cny ♥

March

dikir puteri. one malaysia day. microteaching project. birthday. sem break.

April

pressies. lies. fights. covering up.

May

more fights. coming clean. making up. got hurt. hurt someone. didnt bother to even try to work things out. living in pretense. gossiping and back stabbing.

June

final semester. straying further and further away from her. ignored that. hung out without her instead. felt guilty but ignored it. a lot of travelling between subang and s.a.

July

competency test results. sem break. drove a manual car for the 1st time in mlk. practicum briefing. freaked out. where the hell is kuchai lama. moved from s.a. to subang. hired a driver on a contract basis, a very dedicated one that is ;)

August

lots of stress and pressure. tired and worn out. prepared teaching materials. endless lesson plans. waking up at 5.30am every day. dropping dead in bed by 10.00pm. no life. miss my friends badly. realised that i havent been a good friend. realised how much she cared about me. i'm just plain selfish.

September

tried to make it up to her. sick of i-ppl. readers' theater project. freaking sick of i-ppl.

October

raya hols. cameron. got to know my students better. started to actually enjoy my practicum. god damn freaking sick of i-ppl. observations one after another. end of practicum.

November

a lot of time to myself. change of occupations from student to cheap maid. lots of barney stinson. results day. no direction. finding it hard to make decisions. failed to plan.

December

a lot of travelling between mlk and subang. job interviews. conflicts of interests. afraid. unsure. convocation ceremony. started a temp job. still am unsure.

there you go. that's about it. that's how my 2010 flew by so quickly.

as inconsistent as twenty ten may be, i feel truly blessed with all the great people in my life. am eternally grateful for all the love, care, support, and attention from my friends, my family, and my boyfie. i know that i'll never be alone. and with this, i'm not afraid of twenty eleven and am looking forward to it because i have all of you :)

let's make a new year's wish.

i wish for
.
.
.
.

.

.

.

stability.

yeah. i think that's the main thing i'm hoping for.

wishing everyone out there a great year ahead and may all of you achieve what you aim for.

happy new new all :D





x


.

Jingle Jingly eve.

wow. even while watching the "3 Idiots" for the umpteenth time, i still cried and laughed like a mad woman.

heart that movie! it's so one of my favorites. cinema it twice. downloaded it. and ed bought the vcd because the downloaded ones had rubbish subtitles.

the message conveyed, how the events are intertwined, the linkativity (influence from barney xP), and even the infamous bollywood soundtracks with all the dancing and slow motion bay watch scenes that annoy me so much were great and awesome! i actually liked the songs very much, especially "give me some sunshine" and "zooby dooby" ahahaks.






while watching the movie over a lovely dinner of garlic and herb roast chicken, baked shiitake mushrooms and egg mayo sandwiches *drools*, the scene where they had their graduation was playing. the friendship shared between the 3 of them were just so amazing and it simply made me think of my own friends in college, the times we had, the thick and thin we underwent and how much i miss them.

♥

the only picture i have with the 2 of them currently. all my graduation pictures are back in mlk *facepalm* they took the bus back with daddy. only managed this with pian's hp which he smuggled into the hall. too bad girl's formal attire come with no pockets :/

that was basically how i spent my x-mas eve. a great movie, with great food, and great people. but didnt manage to meet up with the rest of the guys after dinner because i was too tired and practically fell asleep at 9 pm. i'm such a baby.




except for the part where i had to work earlier, it's exactly as he said it. it wasn't such a bad christmas eve after all :D



x

.

Blogging from work :D

finally had the guts to ask nurul for her pc's password, and here i am, busy clicking and browsing away instead of doing what i have to do ;)

just gonna post some greetings and wishes here and try to find some time before the 31st to post something good about 2010. hee. closure you know?

started this bloggie about a year ago and hey, this year passed by so quickly that i even missed out on its birthday! and i browsed through my truckload of history full of gramdmother posts trying to find 2009's end year post. lol. and of course i couldn't find it, because, i didn't post anything like that at all. i should have summed up everything and stated my new year's resolutions or something like that, and maybe, maybe, i'd be i little less lost this year.

through all my uncertainty and struggles and emoness and conflicts and aimlessness, i had actually made it through an entire year. phew... more on that journey later :D am determined to come up with some vision or mission or goals to help me with next year.

that's all for now,

love you more than i can say ♥

Merry Christmas peeps! My heartfelt wishes to all of ya!

:)



xxx

.

Aww, you didn't have to ♥

i know, i understand,
that your work schedule is extremely tight
and you hardly ever have any time for yourself.

you've been working really hard
and i don't blame you if you do not have any time for me.
i totally understand.

you didn't have to come all the way just to surprise me you know.
i'd still love you.

.
.
.
.
.
.

he probably didn't notice the stalker taking pics of him from above.

him. exiting the building.

too many flashes in his face from where i was standing.

that's why he turned away.

he was actually looking at me :D


.
.
.

LOL. Actually, i didn't even know he was going to be there. It so happened that we went to tropicana to catch a movie after the super yummy duck rice at manjalara and saw the huge crowd gathered before the stage. It was weird for so many people to be there. Tropicana was usually peaceful and crowd-less, that was why we liked it so much. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on due to the gigantic posters and banners all around.


We were like:" ohhhhh...... Lin Jun Jie is coming.... patutla so many people here."

.
.
.

I really wonder.

Why did JJ choose the exact same day I was going to tropicana to have his autograph session there?

There's only one simple explanation.

He went there because he wanted to see me xP

hee.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back to reality.
Want an English lesson? I learnt something from the movie we watched before spying on Lin Jun Jie. Ed chose to watch "Just Call Me Nobody" because of Mark Lee and Eric Tsang. It turned out that they were only cameos. It was a little funny, but mostly dumb and boring. I'll highlight the funny part for ya k. (even though it's a lil lame)

This is how a family in ancient China teaches their children to speak English:

1. BEES; - "鼻屎" (bi shi)

2. EARTH; - "耳屎" (er shi)

3. GOES; - "狗屎" (gou shi)

4. MOUTH; - "猫屎" (mao shi)

5. KNEES; - "你死" (ni si)

6. WAS; - "我死" (wo si)

7. DOES; - "都死" (dou si)

8. ONE DOLLAR; - "完蛋了" (wan dan le)


Dumb right? LOL. for my readers who can't read chinese, pls pls pls ask someone who does to explain it to you.


till then.



x

.

why is the beach so far away?

been wanting to go for so long, and finally we actually got our asses there. the guys planned everything and me and Ray were like the vip-s who got exclusive invites and were personally chauffeured there xD

and this is the hotel where the lucky-basket-show-off chung yii was staying at:


he stayed here for free! and i guess this was why he got thrown into the sea by the guys. hee. jealous jealous.

pretty pic kan? thanksss bybyyy ♥

i hope you love taking pics of me as much as i love my pic being taken :P

by the time we got there it was starting to get dark and all of us chipped in to help get the fire started. it was really windy out on the beach and it wiped out any trace of fire we had going. and so all of us gathered in a circle around the pit to keep the wind out. all of a sudden, someone made a speech which went like this :

lets have a moment of silence please.

surprisingly, everyone cooperated and bowed their heads down in silence. the silence lasted for quite a few minutes and it really looked as if we were praying for the victims of some catastrophe somewhere. lol.

i guess that the silence really helped. because after several failed attempts, the coals started burning and we could finally start to cook! and boy, were our stomachs happy. it was my 1st time bbq-ing by the sea and also my very 1st time eating sand. LOL. didnt get any pics though cos we were so busy playing with the chickens, balls and dogs.

before we left, we raised our glasses and drank a toast.

here's to friendship.

and memories with you people :)



x


.

It's been a lil too quiet in here!

in my defense, i do log in to my blogger to see what is going on with my peeps and my cursor does hover over the NEW POST button but i never end up clicking on it.

this girl has been organizing the mess in her head which is even more tangled up compared to Rapunzel's hair.

well, finally completing your studies is something to go bonkers about, something to celebrate, and probably something that makes you proud because you have actually achieved something. on the contrary, it has done nothing but upset me in all ways possible. for the past few weeks, i've been catching up with my own thoughts, feelings, wanting to spill but not being able to. to be honest, i got lost, was extremely down and depressed, trying to figure out lots of stuff which apparently i'm not going to disclose here. (i still keep some things private)

to give a brief description, it's kinda like i don't know how to go on from here. and i super envy those people who have their entire lives planned out in front of them, where they already know exactly what is it that they want. i haven't got a clue and am still figuring it out.

the past few weeks has also been filled with lots of pain :'(
out of nowhere, the corners of my lips cracked and bled.
and consequently a gigantic ulcer conveniently chose the tip of my tongue to grow on.
it's ouch and double ouch.

(sorry, no pictures. the sight is too revolting. wouldn't want anyone to flag my blog xP)


december is supposed to be a happy month for everyone. why the hell am i so caught up in negativity? so come make me happy.



forcing a painful smile :)


x