Fingering the Keybored

6 days to 18 Feb!

2012-01-31T01:29:00.001-08:00

can't wait for my date with THE Avril Lavigne!

and yes. it'll be my 1st concert. side tracking... i kinda have got a lot of 1sts this yearrr!

random post here. been listening to her songs everyday in the office whenever i can. looping all of her songs in my playlist. singing along. saving the lyrics in my brain :D

random lyrics here. take a guess. see how many song titles you can name / pick up on the song where the lyrics stopped:

♥ I’ve got a backbone stronger than yours.

♥ What’s wrong with my tongue…

♥ ‘Cause I can, ‘cause I can do it better…

♥ You're always feeling sorry for yourself…

♥ You don’t know trouble, I’m a hell of a scandal.

♥ Everything that I do, reminds me of you…

♥ I wanna put your hand in my pocket…

♥ I think about the little things that make life great.

♥ You know I won’t give in…

♥ I laugh myself to sleep, it’s my lullaby.

♥ And you fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get…

♥ When you’re all alone in the lands of forever…

♥ It’s not supposed to feel this way…

any 13/13 score?

counting down the days :)

Red Wrappers :)

2012-01-29T22:40:00.001-08:00

Seeing these chocolates make me so happy !

I remember receiving a gigantic packet of these lil things for my birthday few years back. Haven't had one in ages! And man, do they taste good. *munch munch*

So happens someone from the office bought some back from Labuan. Totally made my day n helped a whole lot in busting the Monday blues :D

♥

.

One Lucky Girl

2012-01-29T00:37:00.000-08:00

yes.

i am. indeed. extremely grateful and blessed to be showered with so much.

have all along been feeling the love and vibes from family and friends... and this is such a great bonus on top of it all. and no, i'm not refering to the many red packets i've received or the abundance of good food and wonderful company i've had this entire chinese new year celebration.

the men in my life splurged on me! i received 2 expensive gifts along with all the other good things going on.

this here below, is one of them:

am now the happy owner of this white lady; courtesy of my bro :)

filler:
don't label me flower hearted / not loyal to the htc sensation xe k...
been waiting for ages for that phone.
but it's already been out of stock for 4 months and counting...
can't wait liao, especially when this white beauty is so mouth-wateringly tempting!

and this here, is a vain shot of myself captured and edited with my white beauty:
(somewhat containing some portion of the other pressie from the other guy xP )

not the shades!
haha, if you guessed that.
it's the car. can't believe i now own a car of my own. with the cutest McD number plate :P

thank you daddy ♥ thank you kor ♥

love the 2 gifts so much and am uber excited as i've never received such BIG presents before.

this is one super chinese new year!

hope that it was just as great for everyone else too.

happy chinese new year and best wishes to all!

yours truly,
the lucky girl.

♥

x

.

你...

2012-01-29T00:15:00.000-08:00

你, 是个被宠坏的小孩.
你, 要什么就得要得到什么.
你, 只盼要别人让你.
你, 要什么都随你心所欲.
你, 说一别人不能说二.
你, 从不体谅别人.
你, 把脾气发泄在别人身上.
你, 只会责怪别人.

你, 是永远都不会明白的.

你,

几时才会长大?
几时才会想?
几时才会检讨自己呢?

而我,

.
.
.

累了,

已不想多说了,

心淡了.

.

Emo... AGAIN?

2012-01-20T10:56:00.001-08:00

i dont get it :/

was really loud, happy, and eager to be going home just awhile ago.
the dinner, the car ride home, the company was all great.
even work today was good, which was a pleasant surprise.

but now that i am home. the nice feelings all disappeared with just one blow.

am so down now.

suddenly, i dont feel like being home anymore.

the irony of coming home for a happy chinese new year.

.

Untitled

2012-01-15T23:20:00.000-08:00

You’re a little boy,

Lost in your own world,

Lost in your own perceptions,

Lost in your own beliefs.

It’s time you rid that boyish phase and learn how to be a real man.

It ain’t easy,

It sure as hell will take time.

How long will it take?

How long am I willing to wait?

As much as I love you boy,

I still need you to be that man.

x

.

Sincerely...

2012-01-15T06:09:00.000-08:00

whatever it is, i'll take the blame.

i really am...

.

His Obsession

2012-01-07T22:59:00.000-08:00

just reached home after having dinner with daddy and kor one day... and i asked daddy for his razor / shaver as Ray promised to let me cut his hair. so he went digging under his bed and we found the bag of stuff with the cloth, clips, scissors and razor which he and mum used to cut our hair when we were kids.

well, we also found this:

daddy's Olympus OM-10

dad posing with his beloved.

dad was so happy to see this.

and i had to shoot it!

his name inscribbed on it

side view

the film compartment

we dont see this anymore

showed me how to detach the lense

35mm kit lense

screwdriver needed

battery compartment

body and lense both made in Japan

too bad it doesn't work anymore :/ some one spoilt it and it never got fixed again. sad right?

.

Last Minute Reso

2012-01-06T17:51:00.000-08:00

owh... it's not too late to add in another one or two resolutions for 2012, right? right? xD

this is a pretty big one for me. can't believe that it didn't cross my mind when i was writing out my resolutions the other day.

one of the most important resos that i really really really have to work on is to:

LEAVE THE OFFICE ON TIME.

hear that, Miss Teh?

x

.

Gone is 2011

2011-12-28T11:07:00.002-08:00

Yea. It’s practically gone. Only 48 hours more till 2012 takes over.

What I can say is that 2011 was a whole lot different compared to the other years I've lived.

For one, it started out with me all wimpy and noob, committing to a job for the first time, finding my way through it all, picking up bits and piecing them together.

But now, I’ve gone way past the newbie / amateur stage. Call me a pro in the working world. I now kick my job’s ass like a boss :D

Yo. I sound so positive, like everything was a breeze. On the contrary, I struggled through lots of bitter moments in the past 363 days too. I guess I just took whatever came my way and made the best out of it. As words of a wise man: it’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise. I wiggled my way out of rough patches and embraced the good times when they popped in.

12 months earlier, I hadn’t a single clue to where I’m heading, what I wanted, or how to go on about it all. I’m so much more level-headed, sound, and composed after 2011 conditioned me. I’m glad I grew so much this year.

Am writing down some resolutions here to remind myself to work on them:

Complain less
Love more
Be honest with myself
Say only things I mean
Make only promises I can keep
Keep the promises I make

Not too much for me to handle, kan?

And here, a to-do-list for myself:

Apply for passport
Travel out of Malaysia
Get a smart phone
Learn how to read maps
Drive like a pro
Cook a decent meal
Get a full body massage
Write a story

I’m gonna get it all done by 2012 !

Btw, mini filler: I’ve decided on this baby. She’s gonna take on 2012 with me!

Sneak peak:

Can’t wait to get my hands on it ;)

Happy New Year to All !

It’s a must to celebrate ! We survived another year !

I guess this is all for 2011.

Crossing my fingers, wishing hard that I’ll be able to handle whatever life has in store for me.

Still in One Piece

2011-12-25T04:36:00.000-08:00

Arms still intact, brain still functioning, heart still beating :)

Am back and still recovering from my 3 days 3 nights in KK. Exhausted max and even 14 hours of undisturbed sleep isn’t enough to put me back up on my feet. Sad ! This year no christmassy feel at all. The 24^th and 25^th flew by just like that with me unconscious. Yeah, literally.

Here goes the series of events; pre – while – post of the trip.

20^th Dec

Tuesday was already a crazy blur at the office. During the briefing, I looked at the checklist of stuff I had to bring there and bring back and started panicking. No one cared how it was done, as long as it gets done. They even said to me 自己顾自己. Go figure.

Couldn’t pack earlier even if i wanted to, things were given to us so last minute, plus so many add-ons from some idiot who took me as delivery services. In the end, the suitcase I packed was almost as heavy as I am, in which was none of my belongings.

21^st Dec

Woke up at 5.00am. With just 4 hours of sleep, off I went to the airport for my 7.45am flight to Labuan. Just transiting and dropping off stuff for the centre there. On the bright side, which was really bright, I finally got to see and feel the sun after all the clouds and rain in Subang and also Kuantan.

Eat that. A perfect blue sky. One I have not seen in ages.

Loitered around while waiting for my next flight to KK and saw this

A horn-ny flower.

Was so tempted by the prices of cheap liquor they had there but diminished the thoughts as I knew I wouldn’t be able to bring any back. What a drag, putting work needs before mine :/

And oh, I can also do a short review here bout the 4 local airlines we have. In favourable order (to me), regardless of the destinations they fly / prices: MasWings, Fireflyz, Airasia, Mas.

Yes. Maswings is at the top of my list.

Why?

Because of the Milo of course :P

Fireflyz aint too bad too. It’s nearer from home, therefore less hustle to get there. And the best is that there’s less human traffic :)

And lastly, even though the traffic and human traffic at the LCCT terminal is crazy and Airasia doesn’t serve any food and drinks and bans all forms of outside food and drinks, I’d still prefer it over Mas as the weird stench on the Mas aircraft is unbearable and is plain torture to my olfactory system.

Finally landed in KK about 4.40pm and damn, the jam here is no better than subang. It took me almost an hour just to get to my hotel which isn’t exactly far away. Was supposed to attend photo session and dinner gathering at the KK centre but I turned it down as I was already worn out by the time. As tired as I was, still managed to bug Pian to take me out and even met up with JE :D

22^nd December

How not to camwhore where there’s a gigantic mirror in the living room?

Settled work stuff and all and bugged Pian and JE again! Less talk and more pictures from here on :)

View from Suria’s food court

Thanks for accompanying me!

Raining :/ couldn’t go outdoors.

KK’s version of “Chatime”. Half the price and even nicer !

Mee Tuaran. Beef. Super yummy.

Yumcha at Damai. Only the tehtarik is good. The rest of the food sucked.

And yeah, sabah drivers cant park to save a life. I saw this everywhere -.-

23^rd December

Dressed decently for the closing ceremony :)

Settled work stuff and all and here I go again xP

ABC buah with ice cream :D

One of my fav shots @ tanjung aru beach

Btw, I’m in my pyjamas. Didn’t bring extra clothes, scared baggage overweight -.-

Seafood stall @ Waterfront market

My sotong!

locals insisted that I try this buah terap

45 kg baggage T.T

3 laptops, 3 projectors, 5 speakers, exam papers for 2 centres and a whole lot of other rubbish.

24^th December

Lick you ♥

Baby sis stayed the night with me and as my every morning routine before leaving the apartment, I (we) camwhored in front of the mirror xD

Breakfast at Wang Wang@Penampang, and it’s already almost time to catch my flight back to Subang!

Reached LCCT about 1.35pm and rushed back to the office. Oh, Lydia was there. Even got a Christmas present from her. Lol. What a surprise.

She loves me? this is probably bribery.

Anyway was super happy to settle everything which would mark the beginning of my 9-day long leave :D

Lunch only at 4.15pm @.@ movie and dinner with the sims and when I finally reached home, I practically fainted on my bed without unpacking :-O

let me empahsize that I’ve never done that before in my entire life! i ALWAYS unpack and sort out everything once i get home from a trip. just imagine how worn out i was.

25^th December

Woke up only at 2.25pm. ate brunch. struggled to keep my eyes open. fell back to sleep. woke up again and decided to write this post. which is already this long?!

26^th December

Time to stop. Going out to get lok-lok and ice-cream with ray and ed :D

Time now: 12.26am

Happy belated Christmas.

Are you Stressed?

2011-12-14T01:26:00.000-08:00

in the 24 years of my existence, this has probably been the most stressful year of my life.

guys, do a quick check here.

below are 50 of the most common signs and symptoms of stress which the American Institute of Stress came up with. lol. still amazed at the fact that even an institution like this existed.

here goes:

1. Frequent headaches, jaw clenching or pain	26. Insomnia, nightmares, disturbing dreams
2. Gritting, grinding teeth	27. Difficulty concentrating, racing thoughts
3. Stuttering or stammering	28. Trouble learning new information
4. Tremors, trembling of lips, hands	29. Forgetfulness, disorganization, confusion
5. Neck ache, back pain, muscle spasms	30. Difficulty in making decisions
6. Light headedness, faintness, dizziness	31. Feeling overloaded or overwhelmed
7. Ringing, buzzing or "popping” sounds	32. Frequent crying spells or suicidal thoughts
8. Frequent blushing, sweating	33. Feelings of loneliness or worthlessness
9. Cold or sweaty hands, feet	34. Little interest in appearance, punctuality
10. Dry mouth, problems swallowing	35. Nervous habits, fidgeting, feet tapping
11. Frequent colds, infections, herpes sores	36. Increased frustration, irritability, edginess
12. Rashes, itching, hives, "goose bumps"	37. Overreaction to petty annoyances
13. Unexplained or frequent "allergy" attacks	38. Increased number of minor accidents
14. Heartburn, stomach pain, nausea	39. Obsessive or compulsive behavior
15. Excess belching, flatulence	40. Reduced work efficiency or productivity
16. Constipation, diarrhea	41. Lies or excuses to cover up poor work
17. Difficulty breathing, sighing	42. Rapid or mumbled speech
18. Sudden attacks of panic	43. Excessive defensiveness or suspiciousness
19. Chest pain, palpitations	44. Problems in communication, sharing
20. Frequent urination	45. Social withdrawal and isolation
21. Poor sexual desire or performance	46. Constant tiredness, weakness, fatigue
22. Excess anxiety, worry, guilt, nervousness	47. Frequent use of over-the-counter drugs
23. Increased anger, frustration, hostility	48. Weight gain or loss without diet
24. Depression, frequent or wild mood swings	49. Increased smoking, alcohol or drug use
25. Increased or decreased appetite	50. Excessive gambling or impulse buying

i checked: 1, 2, 5, 6, 10, 11, 17, 21, 24, 26, 27, 31, 32, 46, 50. damn! why so many?!

nonetheless, am still alive.

how stressed out are you?

.

Do you wish you're here with me?

2011-12-05T03:49:00.000-08:00

x

.

:-O

2011-12-03T18:38:00.000-08:00

direct quote read off someone's comment from Mr. Ernest Ng's facebook page via some comment threads:

sleep is for the weak!

gah. maybe i AM weak. that's why i'm so crappy now as i didnt get enough of it. the sad part is, i have to smile and be nice all the time i'm here. struggling to keep my eyes open and i can already imagine what it's gonna be like for the next whole week i'm here.

back to why Mr. Ernest Ng's name is in this post. i don't even know why is it that it suddenly hit me that i had left out intoducing his comic blog here though i've promised him ages ago. so guys, here it is:

and this is him:

lol. cropped him out to give him a lil limelight here. hee.
he actually fits into the white space up there.

well, he's the creator, artist and author of dontlikethatbro.blogspot.com

visit and you'll see what it's like. and i bet that you'll bookmark/follow it just like i did and anticipate mondays and thursdays for his comics. oh yeah. this post is probably aeons late, but still, go ahead and catch up from its first ever post. and i probably dont have to promote this much as it's already getting a whole lot of attention from the blogsphere. well what are friends for right? or rather, i'm just showing off my exceptionally good advertorial writing skills xD

ohh..

off course again. this time back to where i am and why i'm struggling to keep my eyes open:

am in Kuantan, Pahang now. will be residising in Duta Village Beach resort up till friday. nothing to say bout the place. didn't even bother to take any pictures, so just imagine what it's like here. lol. my awesome photography skills will probably make the place look even more gruesome. just glad that there is wifi, and that the speed is not too bad. hee.

and yeah. i almost missed my flight this morning! thank god i didn't, else i'll get slaughtered alive. the first thing was that i conveniently turned off my alarm when it rang at 0520 and continued to sleep like nobody's business. woke up in a shock 40 mins later (0600) and started to panic cause my flight to Kuantan was supposed to be at 0720. rushed to the airport ~~half-dressed~~ and fml, super long queue at the check in counter.

by the time settled check in, almost 0700. went to the departure area, the flight schedule showed that my flight had been retimed to depart at 0740. still got time lah i thought. didnt wanna leave the bf so soon as i wouldn't be seeing him for a week and wanted to spend those precious last minutes with him so off we went, dilly dalying.

and when i finally had the sense to go to the boarding gate, the officer who checked my hand-carry luggage told me that i had to run. i didn't bother and didn't even pick up my pace, just looked at my watch and saw that i still had plenty of time.

by the time i reached the boarding gate, the plane was already all set to leave without me. got scolding from the lady; the flight had always been scheduled to leave at 0720 and there were no changes. argued and finally she punched in the pincode for the door releasing me and i ran towards the plane.

was i delusional? i really saw the notice that they re-timed the flight.

but everything is ok now.

am just thankful for that.

x

.

and the sweet part comes after the bitter drought :D

2011-11-10T00:09:00.000-08:00

hee :DD

i know it's nothing much for most of you. but it's my very very very first time! and am not flying out of my own pocket!

and the date of my trip happens to be 11.11.11.

lol.

big deal huh? read from staronline today that over 1,000 couples getting married and there's even a contest you can join by capturing what you were doing at 11:11 on 11.11.11.

overrated max. haha.

finally, a happy post after so much drama :)

hopefully i get to keep this merry momentum up till the end of the year!

x

.

Teach for Malaysia?!

2011-11-09T06:33:00.000-08:00

wow. am still shocked after seeing this.

http://www.teachformalaysia.org/

why the hell do we need this?

we have perfectly qualified, motivated and responsible educators who dream of being teachers in schools but aren't given the chance to just because they didn't attend a teacher training course in a government/public institute of higher learning.

well first of all, it's pretty much bullshit labeling these government funded universities/colleges as IPTA (Insitutsi Pengajian Tinggi Awam) which literaly means PUBLIC institutions of higher education which therefore are supposed to be open to the PUBLIC! Maybe we've got the whole definition of PUBLIC here all wrong. PUBLIC here of course means that the system is FAIR, UNBIASED, TRANPARENT, NON-DISCRIMINATING, and OPEN TO ALL. of course you are free to apply, but we all know that we aren't on the priority list to be enrolled into our chosen vocation if we aren't one of them.

so tell me, where do the people who actually want to be teachers in goverment schools go to if they aren't accepted into teacher training colleges by the government?

.
.
.

it's obvious aint it. they go to private colleges.

what's so bad about private colleges anyway?
why is there some sort of "access denied" kind of thing when it comes to private graduates wanting to teach in government schools?

it was the government who allowed these insitutions to come to live in the first place. the teacher training programmes run by these private colleges are even accredited and approved by the MOHE and MQA. this definitely qualifies graduates from the private sector to teach anywhere they want in Malaysia! plus, they even allow private trainees to do teaching practice in government schools but reject with a thousand and one excuses when private graduates apply for permanent teaching positions in government schools.

what hypocrites.
(though i have to say that it's a pretty smart move from their side. who doen't want free quality labour?)

even a dumb - barely caring about nation and political issues me knows the reason behind this.

those slots are reserved as a counter measure to protect their people who i'm sure pathetically can't find a job else where.

i can bet that teachers trained by the private sector are able to kick those sloppy public uni graduates in the butt hard and well anytime, anywhere.

another random fact:
i did my Bachelor of Education (TESL) in a private uni along with many others.
all my friends and seniors are either lecturers in colleges or working in other related fields.
none in goverment schools.

funny aint it? they lack teachers, but aren't willing to take in the qualified and trained ones and instead are recruiting from scratch.

then again, back to the whole Teach for Malaysia thingy. what's they use of this if all the government does is to cover up and keep pumping a steady flow of their own loserish people to teach in schools which more than 90% of our nation attend? i dare say that this whole notion though noble as it might be is a mere waste of time, resources and effort. nothing can change the quality of our education system while there's still so much poison in circulation.

just my 2 cents.

.

:'(

2011-11-03T08:48:00.000-07:00

Why did i ever stay?
I dont like it here.
The only reason keeping me here is turning on me as well.

***

I miss my bro, sis and dad so much.
No matter what, they'd never ever make me feel this way.
Even if i did something 10 times worse to them, they'd never ever ever blame me like that.

.

I'm Not Complaining!

2011-11-02T06:54:00.000-07:00

i know i'm not the only one leaving the office late at night. there are others sacrifing even more than i am, and i'm sure they all have great bosses like i have.

i personally would like to describe my boss as a careful thinker. She always uses logic on difficult jobs, and most certainly has leadership qualities. She often makes exceptionally good judgement, and is also extremely career minded.

all thanks to this wonderful boss, i am working way past my working hours, juggling tasks not described in my job scope, assigned to work with more than what a pair of hands can cope , given deadlines next to impossible to meet, and dealing with instructions that change from time to time and which are also so brief that i can barely make sense out of. expectations are high till the extend where i'm treated as if i'm a mutant with the ability to read minds and split myself into counter parts. note: this is not a compliment. it actually depicts that in her eyes, i'm not human :'/

damn. i have been putting my social life, health, beauty, wellness, and personal issues all on hold. all i get in return besides my tiny little paycheck are pimples, eye bags, and stress. but still, as the title for this post says: i'm not complaining! lol.

come February 2012,
it's time for me to give this all up and return to being a lazy ass student once more.

x

.

Sending a Message from Here.

2011-10-28T17:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Bloggie, i'm sorry i hafta misuse u and use you to do my dirty work for me this time.

Dear whoever is reading this, this isn't one of my regular posts. do skip it if you can't relate to it.

***

And the post officially starts now:

Dear Mr. W,

i know i'm a coward for not being able to tell you this face-to-face. and i have been putting off this for almost 2 years for some selfish reasons. hopefully you still read Fingering the Keybored and that this goes out right to you.

Mr. W, some time back when things started to get ugly and really wrong, decisions were made to step back. pain was caused and hurt was inflicted. i was supposed to be angry at you and hate your guts, but instead i blamed it all on myself . i wrapped all that hurt and pain tightly around me and had a hard time stepping out of that blanket of agony.

Somehow time passed and things somehow became right again. apologies were made, and you said that i will always be a Someone to you and that i could count on you to be there when i needed you. Question: are things really right now? were they ever right since then? or did i just want myself to think that things were right again?

i'm not so sure myself. i've never exactly pushed myself to think of the past and analyse the right and the wrong. all i did was to fight hard so that i could let everything go and just forget. i tried to delete all the bitter memories in s.a. and forced myself only to remember the times we had as kids in school. i tried pretending that nothing went wrong and that you were still that friend whom so effortlessly clicked with me.

but just a day ago, i got trapped in a conversation which left me thinking of you and everything that had happened. i couldn't get it out of my head and got really depressed.

Mr. W, we're on and off talking terms every now and then. it's weird and i don't even know what we have now. and i'm not ok. whatever it is, can you and i stop trying to salvage whatever we have left? what do we have left? nothing i guess. nothing but fragments of a broken friendship or whatever you want to call it.

guess this is it. thank you for reading this and you can delete that friend slot you saved for me. it's not needed and it'll never be filled again.

goodbye. and this time it's for real.

Best wishes,
J

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Eat Bitter.

2011-10-17T06:30:00.000-07:00

吃得苦中苦，方为人上人

ooh. even i'm amazed that i'm able to utter this out. (my chinese not so bad after all)

you bananas have absolutely no idea what this is. LOL.

well, it literally means that if you wish to be the best of the best, you must suffer the bitterest of the bitter; OR in better words, it means that only by standing the hardest of hardships can you hope to rise in society.

the thing is, i dont want to rise in society nor do i want to be the best fella whatsoever.
(i've even secretly confessed that what i really want in life is to get married,
settle down and live a "tai tai" life)
but why am i withstanding all this bitterness =.= ?

fml.

my days are as bitter as they can get.

so bitter that i'm starting to suffer symptoms i've never had before :/
symptoms i never knew existed until recently.

familiar with teeth grinding?

heard about it from a friend of mine.
i pited him then. always teased him and asked him not to work so hard.
and now, it's happened to me.

shocked. beyond shocked when my roomie told me that i grind my teeth in my sleep.

damn.

my jaw feels so sore now.

i know.

i'moverlystressedup.headachesaccompanymeregularly.ibringhomeworkfromtheoffice.
evenwheni'mnotworking,i'mthinkingofwhtatihavetodowhenigetback.

iforgetaboutbirthdays.idontreplymysmses.i'mnotthereformyfriends.idonttakepicturesanymore.

this is sad.

this is not me.

this is ruining me.

just when i thought that i was coping fine.

super down now :/

have a feeling i'm gonna end up like that :'/

fugly illustration. i know. just releasing some stress.

x

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I dont know what to feel.

2011-10-09T07:51:00.000-07:00

been listening to too many lies.

been given too much fake hope.

been on the receiving end of too many broken promises.

.

what am i supposed to feel?

how am i supposed to look forward?

you tell me.

.

sharing sentiments.

2011-09-23T21:59:00.000-07:00

Usually, the people with the least power in an organization shoulder most of the burden of cooperation and get the least credit.

-Yves Moneux, HBR

My thoughts exactly.

He is Who He is...

2011-09-21T20:33:00.001-07:00

he doesn't deny it.

he accepts it.

he does what he does.

he has his own hopes and dreams.

he does everything in his power to make them come true.

when can i be more like him?

i don't even dare to hope or dream.

long way more to go for me.

.
.
.

It's too bad we can't even be friends anymore...

2011-08-27T23:03:00.000-07:00

the quarrels, the fights, the cold wars, the on and offs, the begging, the sacrificing, caused so much heart ache and pain.

i endured and pulled through each and every time because to me the ultimate heart ache, the pain of all pains would be losing him.

i remember talking to a friend of mine about my situation some time back.
and so she asked:

"can you picture yourself being with him in the years to come?"

i hesitated, paused shortly and answered truthfully:

"yes, i can. if i go on making sacrifices and giving in."

let me tell you. giving in and sacrificing has no remedial power over this. neither did it stop our situation from worsening nor did it help in improving it. all this time, love was the only thing we could forcefully hold on to. trying our best to ignore the damage accumulated over time.

this time, the damage got the best of us. both forced to let go. with heavy hearts.

the reasons why we're not together anymore aren't important. neither will i sit and analyse who's to blame. i want to forget. i want to let go. i want to free myself from all the anger, hurt, and disappointment.

hoping that i can handle myself in the best way. hoping that this break up will not be too hard on the both of us. and hoping that this decision though made rather rashly and in hasted will be the best for us.

losing him means that i'll most probably lose:

one facebook friend
one loyal blog reader
one football dictionary
one listener
one sanctuary
one babysitter
one meal buddy
one movie partner
one sms pal when i get bored at work
one fashion advisor

and the list goes on. he was all that to me and so much more.

i now have to learn how to stand on my own again.

i can. and i will.

sorry that you guys had to read this rambling, wordy, lame post revolving around me. just felt the need to let this out and motivate myself to move on.

x

.

You don't want this to happen, do you?

2011-08-23T23:39:00.000-07:00

Just sharing peeps.

though the caption in the pic should be "the effects of smoking"??
[good picture, bad tag line]

despite that whatsoever, i'm sure you get the message ;)

2011-08-15T04:18:00.000-07:00

note to self:

apply for master programme by the end of Nov '11.

corporate comm?

instructional technology?

publishing studies?

girl, please figure it out by then!

x

.

2011-08-13T20:11:00.000-07:00

as usual. i have no rights over my emotions.

i'm not allowed to be angry. not allowed to be disappointed. not allowed to feel unsatisfied. not allowed to be frustrated. not allowed to feel unappreciated. not allowed to feel hurt.

cos as soon as i show the slightest signs of any negative emotions, i'm done for. a serious turn of events will hit me, causing the pain to grow ten folds.

feeling tired, i just want a wee bit of consoling and comfort. not accusations. not sneering and mocking. not hurtful comments. not a full grown argument. and mostly, not isolation.

chasing and chasing. what exactly am i chasing for? rejection?

as usual. everything is unreal.

smiles can never last more than a fortnight. they are all merely illusions to trick me into thinking that everything is fine. it's not. and i guess that it never will be.

.

too much futsie!

2011-07-26T05:00:00.000-07:00

never ending streak.

been watching too much football lately. initially it was just the champions league, BPL, and Copa America on TV. then upgrade to watch live - Arsenal, Chelsea, and Liverpool's Asia tour and now? 2014 World Cup placements!

been to Bukit Jalil so frequently in the past 2 weeks but am still not sick of it yet. posting a pic ray took here. so you can imagine how close he was to pretty boy Torres.

emo face :/

drogba! scored the 1 and only goal for Chelsea against our Malaysian Kitties.

and their 1 month old coach. let's hope that he doesn't get fired too soon xP

and the highlight: Torres' autograph! all thanks to Ed's media pass.

thanks to the media pass too that me and Kim conveniently got smuggled into the stadium.
free show. what more to ask la kan?

...............................

love taking pixies with Kim. he makes me look fair :D

Arsenal fans? nah. there's only one there. the rest are just blending in xP

...............................

and M'sia is going against Sing on Thursday for the 2nd leg. and oh, they've gotta fight fight fight if they wanna make history! wish to support them in their ~~impossible~~ mission to place M'sia in the world cup qualifiers for the first time.

though watching the away game on telly almost made me lose faith, i'll still given em my full support! go tigers! this is for you!

Hitam Kuning (Go Tigers!) - Nadhira, JJ & Ean by themovemint

.

Day 9 - July 24

2011-07-24T06:14:00.000-07:00

a photo of the item i last purchased:

paid for it this afternoon at piccadilly.

lunch which made me super full !

look at the last item -.-"

.

Day 8 - July 23rd

2011-07-23T02:24:00.000-07:00

a song to match my mood:

well, i don't really have a mood right now...

so i'll just share a song that's stuck in my head here :)

and sometimes i like covers even more than the original :P

missin' my darlings real bad!

this goes out to all of you ♥

and if you noticed, 2:27, the lyrics goes

You'll always have my shoulder when you cry....

well, the thing is that I'M the one who cries more.

and you guys are the ones who're always there for me.

[i'm not one of the best friends that one can have.

but i want to be someone my friends can count on.

and i'll try my best to always be there.]

here's to friendship !

x

.

Paint you an upside down smile

2011-07-18T02:35:00.001-07:00

don't frown boy, don't frown...
there's no reason to be down...
leave it behind, let it go...
all your worries and your woe...

i'm here, always and whenever...
but turn to me, you will never...
the smile on your face disappears...
and that sends my heart to tears...

perhaps, i can never paint it upright again.

.

Day 7 - July 18

2011-07-18T02:24:00.000-07:00

my dream wedding in keywords:

;)

sweet,

dreamy,

princessey,

cosy.

and that's enough for me :)

am not greedy.

can you imagine how it would be?

Rolling in The Deep.

2011-07-16T19:44:00.000-07:00

tergolek dalam dalam.

love them both, the song and the fellas covering it.

.

Day 6 - July 17

2011-07-16T19:10:00.000-07:00

A photo of an animal you'd like to keep as a pet:

I want this!

super cute ♥

then again, i won't want to take them away from their mummy and original home.

one thing my Teh Gek Seng has always taught me is not to keep pets.

we are curbing their freedom when they could be out there where they really really belong. once or twice, we might forget to feed them. and i'm sure we are not able to provide for their every single need. and since they won't be able to tell us, it will never be the best for them.

and i know SOMEONE who has killed all of the pets he ever had.

i don't want to be like him!

x

.

Day 5 - July 15th

2011-07-15T06:28:00.000-07:00

lol. almost a week ago. anyway, lets continue with the 5th one,

me 2 years ago.

so it's July 2009.

and this is easy for me.

did you know that i have a whole archive of photos categorized by date? xP

freak?

maybe. but i really love taking and keeping photos :)

will cry if my lappie died and all my pixies went to heaven with it.

no joke.

here goes:

i look at me and i feel nothing much has changed. prolly just a lil thinner. sweeter. cuter. xP

and that's just it.

but him. he's married now.

and he was just telling me about girl problems 2 years ago.

meet my chinese-speaking-malay friend - ahmad helmi (阿末虾米) ;P

looking at this picture reminds me of so much!

and it's been 2 years already.

now i see how time really flies!

x

.

A Reminder :

2011-07-11T07:05:00.000-07:00

posting this here to remind me that a lot of Malaysian out there have not given up though they know how shitty the situation in. the spirit has not died. despite how dark the politics have been, the fire still burns within, all sharing a same hope, that things would change for the better.

the different races used to hate each other all the time, they couldn't see eye to eye, condemned each other, called each other despicable names, and of course had totally different views. but now, they have realised that they do not have to make enemies out of each other, have started accepting each others' views and have fought side by side for something they all believed in.

i'm so proud and happy that henny and i actually shared the same view. (i'm sorry, but i had always associated malays with the government and dirty politics.) that was before! now i know. in reality, not all of them are like that. i'm so glad that we became friends. here you have it, 2 buddies from different races and religions, believing in the same thing. read her thoughts here.

.

Day 4 - July 9

2011-07-08T19:12:00.000-07:00

Your favourite photo of your best friend:

sensitive issue :/

i dont have a best friend.

any volunteers?

photoshop your face into the pic below aite ;)

no best friend in particular, but i have best friends who never fail to make me smile :DDD

these people keep me happy and have never turned their backs on me

♥

2011-07-08T18:46:00.000-07:00

never make someone your everything; cos when they leave, you've got nothing.

simple words, yet so true.

Day 3 - July 8th

2011-07-08T06:25:00.000-07:00

my idea of a perfect first date:

nothing is perfect?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

that's what people say all the time.

but i've experienced some really perfect first dates !

♥

to me, it is perfect as long as i'm happy and having fun.

come to think of it, why would you go out with a guy on a date if you didn't like that guy already?
so it's safe to assume that you already have feelings for this guys that's gonna take you out.
and of course you'll dress up, try your best to be perfect, and you're nervous and excited about it. and no matter what happens then it'll still be perfect for you as it's the first ever date you're out on with a guy whom you actually like :)

.

Day 2 - 7th July

2011-07-07T07:24:00.000-07:00

only day 2 and i've already skipped a day :/
SEGi (Lydia in particular) is solely to blame for this!

well, i've decided to cheat!

my 30 days does not have to be consecutive! xD

and i'll try really really really hard not to let too many days get in between!

something i ate today:

5 chewing gum! nice! i ate one for 8 hours before. even fell asleep. woke up and continued chewing it. still tasted nice :D

and yea, i know it's CHEWING gum. i didn't actually eat it and swallow it. forgive me. cos my meal times aren't ideal and they get delayed all the time. and when i finally come in contact with food, i don't stop and take pictures. hence, this as a replacement :D

Day 1 - July 5th

2011-07-05T07:32:00.000-07:00

what a day to start day 1.

well this is me having lunch at klcc (convention center) in between shifts at the exhibition.

saw Muhyiddin in person. oops. calling him as if he's my friend xP
well, to be proper and formal while showing respect, i actually saw Tan Sri Dato' Haji Muhyiddin Yassin (education minister and deputy prime minister) in person today.

today's function, the ETP progress update 7 gave all EPP owners to show case what they are working on and allow the public to gain awareness on what is actually going on. Najib, was supposed to be there, ahh....here i go again, it should be Dato' Sri Haji Mohd Najib bin Tun Haji Abdul Razak but something come up and he left it to his deputy to official the event.

.........

well, this is also the first time for me taking train alone xD
and i didn't get lost :P

lol. actually it was only 4 stations. i had this sleepy head accompany me from subang to kl central, watch me buy ticket and get onto the platform before he left to Hilton.

and later in the evening, Ed picked me from kl central. lol.
didn't get to have much alone time with the train.

......

remember Muhyiddin?

well that's him there. if you zoom in close enough, you can even read his name tag!

and the one in blue is Lydia - my boss.

well this is also a first! me blogging about work.

would very much love to bitch about her to bits, but have done that with YokeLing already and i feel much better. at least someone feels me :)

summary:
met Ray during his break - exchanged phone with Ray cos his batt ran low and he needed to call me to pick him up later - reached home after a long and tiring day in klcc - Lydia suddenly realised how important that email from BPG was (regardless of my constant reminding) - they needed to contact me urgently - Dr Lisa and the whole SEGi jumping cos they couldn't contact me - got HR to get my file out - they sent one of the workers to come to my house to pass message - SueAnn called my house number.

dramatic. and what was all that for?

to get me back to the office to compile whatever shit was needed for the site visit tomorrow.

and i had to go back to the office at even though it was after working hours.
did all the stupid work that they didn't want to do and left when it was almost 10.00pm.
finally got to eat dinner (already starving like mad)
and it's already time to pick Ray from work.
11.30 by the time i'm home.

and i have to be in the office by 7.30am tomorrow morning.

am pissed. but i guess i didn't really show much here.

am so good at being rational and controlling my emotions ;)

let's not let stupid people weigh us down!

x

.

fat chance i'd make it. lol

2011-07-04T06:37:00.000-07:00

well, saw this and felt that it might actually help me blog consistently everyday for at least a month. can i make it? or perhaps i can just put off starting it.

i'll try my best! and if my dearies are reading this, i hope you do too! would love to read about your everyday too!

x

.

i don't like it, but i've never done anything about it.

2011-07-02T09:34:00.001-07:00

once i'm in a comfort zone, it's super unlikely for me to break out of it.
and that is super not good. seriously deemed unhealthy.
it's like i've been programmed to go about it day by day, repeatedly without fail.
regardless of what comes my way, regardless of how i feel, i just go on and on, accepting how things are and working my way around it.

i need courage to change. to break out of this chain, this monotony, this numbness......

and start living once more.

.

she's luckier

2011-06-28T06:22:00.000-07:00

Louis : Blair, I know you saw Chuck.

Blair : Well I... I wanted him to hear about our engagement from me.

Louis : Twice.

Blair : And I had to warn him that his evil uncle was in town.

Louis : All of which sounds so noble. So why didn't you tell me?

Blair : You know we have a history so I was worried that you'd think it meant more than it did.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Louis : I saw him before I came here.

Blair : If he told you something happened he's lying. He just trying to get you to leave me.

Louis : I saw his hand. It's not the ring that cut your face. Blair, how can you lie to protect someone who hurt you?

Blair : Since I'm not seeing him again there's no reason to embarrass him.

Louis : I think you're the one who's embarrassed. You have your own dark side.

Blair : I understand if you want to end it. It's very unbecoming of a princess.

Louis : I want you, Blair. But the only way it can work is if you show me all of the parts of yourself. Even the ones you're ashamed of.

Blair : Maybe if we don't talk about them they'll just go away.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cyrus : Blintz?

Blair : No. Thank you. I've lost my appetite.

Cyrus : How is that possible? You're returning to your alma mater as the Princess Bride-to-be. You and Louis are practically giddy about each other.

Blair : Not when he finds out who I really am.

Cyrus : You mean a brilliant and beautiful and... remarkable-strong-for-her-stature young woman?

Blair : You may not be aware of this, but it's not all light and bright in here. There are some places devoid of even a hint of sparkle.

Cyrus : Louis will love those too, one would hope.

Blair : Chuck was the only one who ever did. But he couldn't see the rest. Louis said he wants it all but what kind of a princess schemes and plays sex games and drapes herself in old Hollywood movies?

Cyrus : Well, ah... pretending, as your stepfather, that I didn't hear the sex games part, the truth is the only way that you're going to know if Louis is the one is to tell him everything.

Blair : What if he doesn't love me after I do?

Cyrus : Take it for someone that's head-over-heels for a Waldorf woman, even everything is not enough.

As to Blair’s final question, the Louise guy could actually take it. It didn’t change how he felt for her.

Okay okay.. i know it's just some dialogue taken off gossip girl, but hey, which girl wouldn't want having a guy who loves her for who she really is/was? As fake as those lines might be, as fictional as the characters might be, the idea of a guys being so compromising and understanding which is so ideal has already been planted in my head.

As i said. she’s luckier. My life story wasn’t written by the gg script writers and there’s no non-judgmental guy in my life.

the girl that never was

2011-06-27T06:24:00.000-07:00

he loved her,

but perhaps he never really loved her.
the real her.
who she really is.
who she was.

.

Her Happily Ever After :)

2011-06-19T06:34:00.000-07:00

this is just the girls' side wedding dinner, and the church wedding is next saturday which i painfully am unable to attend because of work :/

my first time with a D3100. and from the pictures, it's obvious that i don't know a single thing about DSLRs. And even if i went through the manual inside out, i'll still probably not get a thing out of it. too dumb to understand the terms used. but this dumb girl still wants to learn how to take better photos!

she's gorgeous, always will be!

simply love her dress! fits her oh so perfectly.

cuzzies :)

my family :D

next, taken with my hp!
a vain self shot xP

and the last pic taken with normal digi cam:
me and the man's who's been there for me for over 20 years!

my one and only dad.

happy father's day!

i love you pa.

x

.

white flag.

2011-06-13T07:14:00.000-07:00

you've learnt how to live...

... how to love

you've learnt how to accept...

... how to give

you've learnt how to tolerate...

... how to lose

but is spite of all, it's pointless, regardless of all that you've learnt.

.

Seriously, wtf ?

2011-06-05T10:21:00.000-07:00

i saw this posted by a friend:

http://dailychilli.com/news/12048-killer-king-rats

didn't dare click on it. so asked someone to read to and summarize it to me over msn.

and i wished that stupid link hadn't caught my eye in the 1st place. now i can't sleep. i didn't actually look at any pictures but by just hearing about it, my over creative brain has it all visualized out already. and amazingly, the pictures in my mind are extremely clear and detailed.

fml.

normal ones are already freaking the hell out of me.

and now these?

f x 100.

.

*scared*

.

save me :/

.

Happy Ending.

2011-05-31T04:54:00.000-07:00

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No happy ending.

This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

May quickie.

2011-05-28T08:41:00.000-07:00

scribble scribble... update update...

.

been to 2 doctors in 2 weeks.

and this lil idiot bit me :/ had to take a jab and my thumb looked like this :

gigantic antibiotic. so hard to swallow! felt like torture each time i had to swallow it.

..............................

this never fails to make me feel greedy. sick but insisted.

1st stop on the way back for wesak. simpang ampat tol directly to p. gadong then to klebang.

had daddy waiting for me at home. he didnt know i chose coconut shake over him xP

..............................

wesak was good :)

returned to the familiar atmosphere and feel after so long.

missed out on it for 3 years already. msu la. cleverly arrange exams in May every year.

pindapata. giving alms to monks on wesak morning.

we laymen are all in white. notice the similarity in colors for the monks and Ray ;P ?

..............................

found mille crepe in pj.

fail. beaten flat by nadeje's.

austin chase has it too. ordered from:

http://humblebeginnings.com.my/millecrepe.html

tried it once at gardens mv. and got one for ed's birthday. oreo.

not too bad la. but still nadeje ftw.

..............................

got the chance to meet up. only managed 3 hours together. we need more time!!!

half a year since we last met. nothing has changed. bffs ♥

and it's my darling zira's birthday today! happy birthday dear!

...............................

finally, got one of my own!

vb anyone? lets play man !

got this as the rest of the color balls were too exp and the one i wanted got ruined because of the stupid cello-tape they used for tagging -.-"

in luck cos i peeled it off before we left the store. instant exchange.

............................

and i just woke up after being knocked out cold by cough syrup.

i remember being out for 14 hours once. accidentally overdosed. lazy to measure and wash the measuring cup so i drank straight out of the bottle :P

..............................

that pretty much sums up my May.

.

was yours any good?

..........................

imma watch barca and mu in awhile. and i hope barca beats the crap out of mu!!

dear messi, go do your thing and shut all the mu fans up!

x

.

2011-05-19T07:04:00.001-07:00

i don't belong when there's no you.

.

so hard, you're so far...

2011-05-06T04:35:00.000-07:00

dedicated to all of you out there facing this:

it's just too bad that there isn't a good video for this. thought of posting brandy's version but it isn't great enough. anyway, i played this non-stop for 5 hours in the office today. cheers to YT repeat ! lol. can sing without the lyrics d.

long distaners, stay strong, you'll make it through somehow.

.

x

No Denying

2011-05-04T08:22:00.000-07:00

i don't write good stuff anymore :/

i just string some random words together and call it a sentence, throw a few sentences together and call it a blog post.

and i effortlessly make this sound like a popular gathering spot for the Emo Club.

growing older, getting lamer.

typical of me.

.

2011-05-04T08:12:00.000-07:00

if you knew what you did hurt me,
and you had the chance to do it all over again...

would you do the same?

maybe if it hurts like that every time,
again, again, and again,
it will hurt less and less till it hurts no more.

.
.
.

what does it mean when it doesn't hurt anymore?

.

.

Accidentally in Love

2011-04-21T08:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Bloggie,

I know I shouldn't have.
I know I'm not supposed to.

But I couldn't help it.
Fell helplessly.
Especially when i'm not supposed to.

Never thought that I'd be able to feel this way again.
When I least expected to.

I fell so deep.

Am now hopelessly in love again.

.
.
.
.
.

Want to get to know the guy that made my heart melt?

One chance is all you need to give to him.

And you'll love him as much as I do too.

Just click on the play button below!

Surprised?

Never knew he sung decent songs like this huh?

Definitely beats standing in the middle of some bowling lane picking up chicks.

Anyway, the movie was awesome.
Caught it upon request(s)/pestering(s) from Ed and Ray.
We 3 sohai-s even wore hoodies there.
So many people were looking like we were his biggest fans or something.
We weren't even bielibers at that time.

Watching the movie somehow changed how i felt about him.

Really terpikat liao ♥

Now I'm a BIELIBER!

Yours sincerly

x

.

2011-04-12T08:10:00.000-07:00

i make you moody

i bore the hell out of you

i hurt you

i don't reflect on my actions and continually cause you misery

...

yes

i'm that terrible

don't have to make me feel even more

...

being indicted of something irrevocable is just great.

...

my past, my flaws

i'll never be able to get past that

...

and you don't know how this makes me feel

.

Can't help it :/

2011-03-27T06:39:00.000-07:00

So am I actually strong when I cry?

Or am I just using this as a cover for my weaknesses?

.

yes, you're perfect. you're perfect to me.

2011-03-22T12:45:00.000-07:00

guysss!!! google the lyrics and sing along !!

love this once i heard it on the radio, and love this version as well! always had a thing for acapellas. yea and this version is clean! recommended to people of all ages xD

why am i up? woke up at 0350 just to post this? complaining that i cant sleep? bet i'll start snoring once my head hits my pillow again.

nights.

x

.

It's the weekend.

2011-03-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

so do you think that i had fun?

yea. i most certainly had. lots of it. lemme show you just how fun it was.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

fun right? erghhh.

anyway, i brought home work from the office to be done.
spent my morning meddling around with it and ended up in putrajaya around 6.

besides walking around in the gooey mud, i managed to catch a pair of lovers fondling and caressing each other, making out shamelessly in public! i even have evidence!

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

hmph! kena tangkap basah.

and they weren't they only ones.
lots of others had also coupled up and were busy mating away.

jealous much? so intimate oh.

also got to watch the sun set beautifully over the lake :)

not as peaceful as i would have preferred though. the crowd was huge!

actually, the main attraction there were the balloons.
gigantic hot air balloons.
didn't manage to take many photos.
and you know how canggih my camera is. lol.
here's the few i managed to capture.

two smiley faces :)

two unsmiley faces :(

and they actually used the fire canons which were used to heat the air to light up the balloons at night and put on a show where the lights were synchronized according to the music which was played. it was quite a pretty sight.

the balloons lit up like gigantic lanterns

pretty?

love the way they lit up

and we found a better spot to watch all that on the way back.
no crowd and you'd have the entire view of the light show.

that's about it. hardly 2 hours and i already got so tired.
practically had to drag my feet back to the car.
old. seriously. old.

hope your weekend was better than mine!

on the bright side, tomorrow is sunday.
one more rest day. have to fully utilize it.
it'll fly by so fast without you realising and it's monday all over again :/

have fun guys.

x

.

2011-03-17T07:09:00.000-07:00

mummy dearest,

are you watching?
does your heart ache when you see her like this?

i'm sorry your daughter is such a mess.
can't pick herself up.
not able to get a grip and hold her head up high.
she is such a failure.
in most aspects of her life.
does she disappoint you?

even if she does, can you promise never to leave her?
she needs you.

some random statements.

2011-03-12T11:07:00.000-08:00

1. I realise that I'm not a good sister.

I'm not there for my lil sis as much as she needs me to and I pay the slightest attention to her. Why am I so stingy in this sense? I'm so caught up in ME that none of my attention or concern goes to her. Always assuming and expecting that she's independent enough.

2. I still don’t know what I want to do.

I fail to answer that question no matter who asks it and when it is asked and I noticed that I get asked that question a lot recently. I feel sorry for myself for not being able to answer that. I’m pathetic.

3. I always have mixed feelings.

Unexpectedly, some feelings always resurface when you least expect them to.

4. I stalked someone awhile ago.

Someone of no importance to me. Someone I’ve almost forgotten existed. Someone who once hurt me. Someone shameless. Someone with the worst possible morale. And it leaves me hanging now. What on earth initiated me to do that? It was probably a waste of my 48 minutes and it now leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

5. I ate dinner with a bunch of aunties.

Well, their company wasn’t that bad. Had a pretty decent time. They actually humoured me. They complained about kids nowadays not knowing who Mahatma Ghandi, nor Mother Theresa, nor Chairman Mao is. The only significant figures to these kids are Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber. Yea. I admit, kids nowadays are ignorant and are completely oblivious on significant historical figures as such. I am lucky, I’ve got the best of both worlds. And hey, I thought to myself, I’m going to end up like them pretty soon. Just call me aunty.

6. I’m amazed that I’m still up at this hour.

It’s already 0339. This is officially the first time I’ve stayed up so late ever since I’ve started working.

7. Tomorrow's the 14th of March again.

I miss you. Have never stopped missing you. Have been missing you for the past 14 years.

8. Am turning 24 this 24th.

And now I'm wondering why the numbers are so coincidental. No biggie. Just another step nearer to auntyhood. And I never get excited about this day. It reminds me of too many things. Am starting to get a lil emotional now. Am telling myself to stop now.

at least i have an update.

kthxbye.

2011-03-09T05:40:00.000-08:00

dreams? i don't have any.

hopes? i don't anymore.

and now i know why.

having them shattered over and over isn't the best feeling in the world.

and piecing them back is gonna be hell of a job.

i just don't know if i'm up for it anymore.

lesson learnt.

never hope, and you'll never get disappointed.

never expect, and you'll never be let down.

never dream, and you'll never be disillusioned.

never love, and you'll never get hurt.

Work Sucks!

2011-02-19T17:38:00.000-08:00

yeah it does. been working so much i've neglected all my playtime :/

This is me at work:

the smile is just for me to look pretty. lol. not smiling cos i'm happy.

all work and no play totally sucks! that's why a girl always needs girlfriends and ~~boyfriends~~ a boyfriend around to make up for it :D

gonna feature some ladies here in this post:

skates up!

threesome :)

our fav yogurt ♥

janey, gingy and me.

chanel can't resist its luscious lips :D

now for the boyfriend part:

the start of our valentine's date.

late night deserts :)

pyjama dates. hee

i guess that all this love makes my world go round :)
would't be able to survive without you guys by my side.

ps://

to all those who have been working too hard,
take a break, go have fun.
don't be a slave to your work.

this community service message was brought to you by:

http://vanillanstrawberries.blogspot.com/

I love it and hope you love it too !

2011-02-02T06:00:00.000-08:00

a random announcement :

我不是香蕉!

and here's how i rate my Chinese proficiency:

spoken - 8/10
written - 4.5/10

yea, it's not top notch, but i'm pretty happy with it :P
i usually skip ~~a few words here and there~~ a lot of words while reading a paragraph but i've no problem comprehension wise. i actually do understand what i'm reading okayyy xD

as a Chinese, of course i celebrate cny. it's my all time favourite holiday :) love all the traditions, all the people, all the gatherings, all the different feelings as we welcome in the new year.

and of course this celebration comes with loads of work - cooking, baking, cleaning etc. but hey, all in all, every drop of sweat spent juggling all the work is always worth it. the fun side however is simply unbeatable. shopping, girls! having an excuse to get all kinds of outfits even though we already have wardrobes and wardrobes full of clothing. adding the umpteenth pair of shoes to our humongous collection of footwear. and probably getting a new hairdo, be it colour or curls. i haven't even mentioned the glorious glorious food that we only get this every once a year plus all the goodies and angpows ;)

i've already had a great new year's eve and am very much looking forward to tomorrow :D

hope everyone enjoys this cny weekend as much as i will !

a shout out to everyone:

Happy Chinese New Year !

and may this year of the rabbit bring good luck and fortune to all of you.

my cousin's cute lil rabbits :)

and imma end this post with something in chinese xP

祝大家新年快乐, 万事如意, 心想事成, 步步高升.

ps:// i typed it all ! no cut and paste kay xP

an hour to go!

happy :D

x

.