Can't help it :/

So am I actually strong when I cry?

Or am I just using this as a cover for my weaknesses?



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yes, you're perfect. you're perfect to me.

guysss!!! google the lyrics and sing along !!

love this once i heard it on the radio, and love this version as well! always had a thing for acapellas. yea and this version is clean! recommended to people of all ages xD

why am i up? woke up at 0350 just to post this? complaining that i cant sleep? bet i'll start snoring once my head hits my pillow again.

nights.



x



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It's the weekend.

so do you think that i had fun?

yea. i most certainly had. lots of it. lemme show you just how fun it was.


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fun right? erghhh.


anyway, i brought home work from the office to be done.
spent my morning meddling around with it and ended up in putrajaya around 6.



besides walking around in the gooey mud, i managed to catch a pair of lovers fondling and caressing each other, making out shamelessly in public! i even have evidence!

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hmph! kena tangkap basah.


and they weren't they only ones.
lots of others had also coupled up and were busy mating away.


jealous much? so intimate oh.


also got to watch the sun set beautifully over the lake :)


not as peaceful as i would have preferred though. the crowd was huge!


actually, the main attraction there were the balloons.
gigantic hot air balloons.
didn't manage to take many photos.
and you know how canggih my camera is. lol.
here's the few i managed to capture.


two smiley faces :)


two unsmiley faces :(


and they actually used the fire canons which were used to heat the air to light up the balloons at night and put on a show where the lights were synchronized according to the music which was played. it was quite a pretty sight.


the balloons lit up like gigantic lanterns


pretty?


love the way they lit up


and we found a better spot to watch all that on the way back.
no crowd and you'd have the entire view of the light show.


that's about it. hardly 2 hours and i already got so tired.
practically had to drag my feet back to the car.
old. seriously. old.

hope your weekend was better than mine!

on the bright side, tomorrow is sunday.
one more rest day. have to fully utilize it.
it'll fly by so fast without you realising and it's monday all over again :/


have fun guys.


x

.

mummy dearest,

are you watching?
does your heart ache when you see her like this?

i'm sorry your daughter is such a mess.
can't pick herself up.
not able to get a grip and hold her head up high.
she is such a failure.
in most aspects of her life.
does she disappoint you?

even if she does, can you promise never to leave her?
she needs you.

some random statements.

1. I realise that I'm not a good sister.

I'm not there for my lil sis as much as she needs me to and I pay the slightest attention to her. Why am I so stingy in this sense? I'm so caught up in ME that none of my attention or concern goes to her. Always assuming and expecting that she's independent enough.

2. I still don’t know what I want to do.

I fail to answer that question no matter who asks it and when it is asked and I noticed that I get asked that question a lot recently. I feel sorry for myself for not being able to answer that. I’m pathetic.

3. I always have mixed feelings.

Unexpectedly, some feelings always resurface when you least expect them to.

4. I stalked someone awhile ago.

Someone of no importance to me. Someone I’ve almost forgotten existed. Someone who once hurt me. Someone shameless. Someone with the worst possible morale. And it leaves me hanging now. What on earth initiated me to do that? It was probably a waste of my 48 minutes and it now leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

5. I ate dinner with a bunch of aunties.

Well, their company wasn’t that bad. Had a pretty decent time. They actually humoured me. They complained about kids nowadays not knowing who Mahatma Ghandi, nor Mother Theresa, nor Chairman Mao is. The only significant figures to these kids are Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber. Yea. I admit, kids nowadays are ignorant and are completely oblivious on significant historical figures as such. I am lucky, I’ve got the best of both worlds. And hey, I thought to myself, I’m going to end up like them pretty soon. Just call me aunty.

6. I’m amazed that I’m still up at this hour.

It’s already 0339. This is officially the first time I’ve stayed up so late ever since I’ve started working.

7. Tomorrow's the 14th of March again.

I miss you. Have never stopped missing you. Have been missing you for the past 14 years.

8. Am turning 24 this 24th.

And now I'm wondering why the numbers are so coincidental. No biggie. Just another step nearer to auntyhood. And I never get excited about this day. It reminds me of too many things. Am starting to get a lil emotional now. Am telling myself to stop now.

at least i have an update.

kthxbye.

x

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dreams? i don't have any.

hopes? i don't anymore.

and now i know why.



having them shattered over and over isn't the best feeling in the world.

and piecing them back is gonna be hell of a job.

i just don't know if i'm up for it anymore.



lesson learnt.



never hope, and you'll never get disappointed.

never expect, and you'll never be let down.

never dream, and you'll never be disillusioned.

never love, and you'll never get hurt.