Sunday, October 18, 2009

Mixed Emotions.

Things have been going so well for me for the past few weeks. I’m always happy. Smiling almost all the time, cheerful and bugging others, being hyper n all. No worries. No tears. No frustrations.

Despite that, I can’t help feeling bad when the people around me are down. They are great people and they deserve to be happy too. Why is it that I’m the only one who’s overwhelmed in all this goodness while they’re out there suffering? I know I’m no one to be deciding who should be and shouldn’t be suffering. They say that it is all already written out somewhere, pre-destined. But I still wish and hope that everything will be ok for everyone else. Yea, I know. It won’t make any difference. It’s just a silly wish from me.

I cry when I see my girl friends cry. I can relate to the pain my friends feel when they get hurt. I feel sorry for those who are in really crappy situations when it’s not their fault at all. I feel touched when I see others trying so hard to get out of their struggle. I just can’t help feeling guilty because I’m happy while others are upset. No one chooses to be unhappy. No one chooses to be stuck in shit. No one wants a life full of downs downs and more downs.

Do all things come to an end eventually? Am I heading in that direction? I don’t know why. I’ve got a bad feeling about this. I hope I’m wrong though.

Hang in there people. Be strong. I heart all of u.

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